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Questions....I don't mean to sound like a pedagogue... [01 May 2010|01:43am]

[ mood | tired ]

Hey guys...
This week has been shitty. As you might have guessed I'm posting here because the week has involved an amount of self-harm, cutting in my case. Entering college has thrust me into the arms of a whole lot of conflicting opinions. I've met a bunch of people that have the same opinion about self-harm that I've always and only heard: it's bad, rah rah rah, don't do it, rah rah rah, I don't understand. But I've met a few that either don't like it but accept it, and some that think it's totally fine, as long as you're careful and conscious of what you're doing. It astounded me. Part of me is glad to know it doesn't freak out at least someone (but I think all the ones I've talked to have done some form of self-mutilation). But part of me still thinks it's not ok, and not healthy (which, very technically speaking, it's not). How do you guys feel about self-harm? Do you think that's because of the way you've been brought up to think of it by your family/peers? Were you ever surprised to learn about anyone else's opinion about it? I'd love to know your thoughts...Despite the few new people I've met these past two years, cutting still feels like a very lonely habit...

help me

[19 Jan 2010|12:17am]

Hey everybody, just me. I'm not even sure if the creators of this journal are still active much on livejournal, but I want to help keep it going if I can. How is everyone?
help me

hi [13 Oct 2009|11:13am]
 Hi there!I am an ex pro-ana, cutter, depressed self hater who found hope in my Saviour and Creator. There is always hope for you, no matter what! Did you know that you have a very special purpose on earth?? You can look at my blog at http://savingemptysouls.wordpress.com xxxx from a friend who understands your pain...
help me

[03 Sep 2009|02:28pm]

I experimented with a Bic pen cap yesterday. You wouldn't think those things could do much but I was actually able to use it to scratch some designs into my arm that lasted for about 7-8 hours. I played tic-tac-toe on my wrist. It didn't last long enough to cause me trouble or serious injury but the aesthetic was nice. That's a big part of it for me, I love the look of it. I'm not much of a fan for pain but obviously I can tolerate it to suit my needs...There's just something satisfying about seeing my own blood come out of me by my own volition. It gives me a feeling of control when I feel like I can't control anything else. It's nice. If I'm careful, what else matters? It's my body.
If you guys self-harm, why? For aesthetics, the way it feels, or both? Neither?
help me

Wow! [27 Aug 2009|10:17pm]

Hey everybody...I haven't written in this journal in AGES. I just started my LJ back up a few months ago after years of stagnancy. I had no idea this journal was so active!!! Two of my best friends in the whole wide world were the creators, but I'm not sure they use LJ much anymore. Either way I suppose it's fate that brought me back here. I used to cut a couple years ago, then met the man of my dreams, so to speak, and managed to work things out for three years, with few mishaps. Then college came. After sleeping together one day, he said he didn't love me anymore. Kinda wish I'd had a chance to put my clothes on at least first. Awesome. It wasn't a malignant thing, he was as heartbroken as I, but apparently adapted better. Now I'm back to cutting every few days and have fallen somewhat in love with cigars (which I can enjoy legally) and vermouth (which unfortunately I can't.) That's my story. Since it's been a few years since my last posting here, (and since the circumstances of my membership have changed) I'll fill out the survey again.

[x] Name? Call me Ellie.
[x] Age? 19
[x] Location? East Coast US
[x] diagnnosed? yup
[x] disorders? Depression, Anxiety
[x] Reason for joining? It feels good and appropriate to be back.
[x] Do you self injure and if so, for how long? Yup. On and off since freshman year of high school, now frequently.
[x] If you do, do you want to stop? Why? No. I see nothing wrong with it.
[x] Weapon of choice? Detached blade from shaving razors
[x] Area of choice? legs for practicality, sometimes a little bit on my arms for kicks and giggles.
[x] Randomness? I am in love with life. Unfortunately, I don't think it feels the same way about me.

I'm glad to be back. I exhibit self-destructive behavior in a more extreme sense than a hefty amount of people. A lot of you on this community do. It feels wonderful to be around people for whom, ironically enough, this is normal.
help me

Introduction time [23 Aug 2009|02:59am]

[ mood | angry ]

[x] Name?

[x] Age?
Soon to be 25

[x] Location?

[x] diagnnosed?
Never let anyone try. Unofficially diagnosed with depression.

[x] disorders?
Uncertain, honestly

[x] Reason for joining?
What most people consider 'normal' I consider monotony. I thought perhaps this community might offer me a place where I can be myself for a change without worrying about people abandoning me once they see who I am, and who I can be but try not to be. I am not normal, I never will be, I gave up trying to be ten years ago.

[x] Do you self injure and if so, for how long?
I've only done it sparingly in the past, and I don't know if what I do know qualifies.

[x] If so, do you want to stop?
What I do now keeps me from destroying fragile things. So no.

[x] Weapon of choice (In the past)?
Knives, slamming my head into brick/metal/wood walls.

[x] Weapon of choice (Now)?
Punching solid metal doors until I can't feel my hands.

[x] Area of choice?

[x] Randomness?
Only the truly insane think there's nothing wrong with them.

2 angelshelp me

introduction [08 Nov 2008|11:31pm]

[ mood | awake ]

[x] Name?
meaghan (aka spryte)
[x] Age?
[x] Location?
mobile, alabama, usa
[x] diagnnosed?
severe manic depression
[x] disorders?
self injury, ana/mia
[x] Reason for joining?
it looked interesting and i like surrounding myself with people of a like mind
[x] Do you self injure and if so, for how long?
yes, 11+ years now
[x] If you do, do you want to stop? Why?
i do and i don't, it's a love-hate relationship
[x] Weapon of choice?
knife, razor
[x] Area of choice?
[x] Randomness?
when i get bored i dye my hair

3 angelshelp me

[08 Nov 2008|01:54pm]


[x] Name? Valerie (or Chikara, if you prefer)
[x] Age? 30
[x] Location? North Lima, OH
[x] diagnosed? yes
[x] disorders? bipolar disorder I, borderline personality disorder
[x] Reason for joining? to find people like me who are okay with being crazy
[x] Do you self injure and if so, for how long? i did briefly as a teen with razors, then again last year by burning
[x] If you do, do you want to stop? Why? i thought i wanted to stop, but lately, i really crave it again...
[x] Weapon of choice? matches & incense sticks
[x] Area of choice? bedroom or bathroom
[x] Randomness? it sucks to be a mother and not have a clue what to do sometimes...

help me

Intro. [02 Nov 2008|06:36pm]

[ mood | nervous ]

[x] Name? I prefer Raven. unoriginal, but temporary.
[x] Age? 15
[x] Location? South africa
[x] diagnosed? Yes.
[x] disorders? Depression, with some of i-don't-know-what thrown in for fun.
[x] Reason for joining? I need to talk to people who are not pretending.
[x] Do you self injure and if so, for how long? I used to, quite heavily, still have the scars, but I've been clean for +/- 7 months.
[x] If you do, do you want to stop? Why? Stopped. Ruined my life.
[x] Weapon of choice? Razor, craft knife, safety pin, anything clean (i.e. not rusty etc) i could get my hands on.
[x] Area of choice? underside of arms, hips, thighs, ankles.
[x] Randomness? After going on mild antidepressants for about 8 months, i am no longer so depressed. Now i just alternately panic and distance myself from reality. I find little habits and addictions, which last from a day to a few months.

1 angelhelp me

[04 Jan 2008|06:42am]
[x] Name? That depends. The person born in this body is Elizabeth (I prefer Liz), but my therian half calls herself Renka.
[x] Age? 18
[x] Location? Columbus, Ohio
[x] diagnnosed? yes
[x] disorders? Severe depression and schitzophrenia officially, parents think I might have antisocial personality disorder (or some such related disorder).
[x] Reason for joining? Support, venting, maybe finding friends.
[x] Do you self injure and if so, for how long? Yes, since I was 11 (so seven years now).
[x] If you do, do you want to stop? Why? No. I know I'll have to eventually, but that time is not now.
[x] Weapon of choice? Razor or pocket knife.
[x] Area of choice? Arms and calves.
[x] Randomness? I can be extremely random, since I guess it comes with the Cajun blood. Just not at quarter to seven in the morning on a Friday.
help me

[12 Oct 2007|01:08pm]

[x] Name? Heather
[x] Age? 21
[x] Location? studio/office  
[x] diagnnosed? partially...some say I have depression issues...other say other things....
[x] disorders? depression,  SI
[x] Reason for joining? place to speak what is on my mind.......to find others out there.
[x] Do you self injure and if so, for how long?on and off for about 4 years.
[x] If you do, do you want to stop? Why?  I stopped when I got married, again hard to hide, but the desire is still there
[x] Weapon of choice? sharp objects around the house...mostly pen top (was the only thing I had in the hospital)
[x] Area of choice? left arm
[x] Randomness? I think too much, and don't talk enough....feel everythin is my fault in the end...
help me

[23 Sep 2007|10:56am]

[ mood | confused ]

[x] Name? Heather
[x] Age? 23
[x] Location? my living room  
[x] diagnnosed? partially
[x] disorders? depression,  SI
[x] Reason for joining? need somewhere to vent, and find others somewhat like me
[x] Do you self injure and if so, for how long?on and off since 8th grade...
[x] If you do, do you want to stop? Why?  I stopped a few years ago when I moved it with my now husband. It was too hard to hide.
[x] Weapon of choice? knives
[x] Area of choice? arms, thighs
[x] Randomness? I tend to feel more than I should,  but I feel nothing at the same time.....

1 angelhelp me

intro [10 Jun 2007|02:19am]

[x] Name? We are the alters of a girl with DID....  The rest of us who have names (and then there are a few without names)...Melanie (I'm posting this), Caroline, Emilie, Samantha, and Gabriella
[x] Age?we vary in ages from 6-25.  Amanda is the person born to this body and is 21.
[x] Location? Chicago
[x] diagnosed? yes
[x] disorders? anorexia, depression, PTSD, OCD, DID, anxiety
[x] Reason for joining? To not feel so isolated....we are only recently finding our own voices rather than speaking through our host body.  We want to meet people and help others.
[x] Do you self injure and if so, for how long? yes....since Amanda was 6 or seven
[x] If you do, do you want to stop? Why? some in the system say yes and some say no.  Parts want to recover and find healthy coping skills and others are self destructive
[x] Weapon of choice? razor or knife
[x] Area of choice? anywhere goes
[x] Randomness? I hope everyone is doing alright.  If anyone needs extra support or wants to chat our screen name is croyezauxreves and our email is it_seems_in_vogue@yahoo.com

Take care
1 angelhelp me

[30 May 2007|01:35pm]

[ mood | crazy ]

Kill me!
I cut up both my arms last night!!
I havent in soooo long, like 5 months maybe!
Im soo disapointed.
I have to go to work today and now I have to do the whole long sleeve paranoia thing. I think Im falling apart.....
I know things are getting bad.....but i dont want help and i dont know why...
I cant handle this anymore....my emotions are OUT OF CONTROL. I am neither up nor down but a combination of both. It hurts.......
Im going down so fast.......I dont want to crash......

2 angelshelp me

[14 May 2007|04:35pm]

[ mood | anxious ]

[x] Name? Ginger
[x] Age? 20
[x] Location? NB, Canada
[x] diagnnosed? @ 16
[x] disorders? Bipolar, signs of Borderline Personality
[x] Reason for joining? want to talk to people who know what its like!
[x] Do you self injure and if so, for how long? yes, 5 years or so.
[x] If you do, do you want to stop? Why? Right now I do, but ask me again when I'm depressed.
[x] Weapon of choice? Razor Blade, lack of food, fists, Belt, ect.
[x] Area of choice? My Body, Mind and Spirit.
[x] Randomness? 1 suicide attempt and several abusive relationships. I think you get it!

1 angelhelp me

[13 May 2007|06:24pm]

[x] Name? Annie
[x] Age? 19
[x] Location? OR
[x] Do you self injure and if so, for how long? I am recovering, I began 8 years ago
[x] If you do, do you want to stop? Why? I want to stop because it's not healthy fo me
[x] Weapon of choice? razor/nife
[x] Area of choice? thigh, breast, arm, ankle
[x] Randomness? I am quite random
1 angelhelp me

survey. [27 Apr 2007|04:23am]

[ mood | anxious ]

[x] Name: Melissa
[x] Age: 15
[x] Location: Florida
[x] Reason for joining: i'm a freak and i need support.
[x] Do you self injure and if so, for how long?: yes, for 3 years.
[x] If you do, do you want to stop? Why?: I'm not sure right now.
[x] Weapon of choice: razors.
[x] Area of choice: arms.

1 angelhelp me

[15 Apr 2007|03:06pm]

Name: Lily
Diagnosed: anorexic, addiction to pain killers, depression

hi everyone im new
1 angelhelp me

[31 Mar 2007|12:26am]

[ mood | sleepy ]

[x] Name: Ryan
[x] Age: 18
[x] Location: England
[x] diagnosed: anorexic
[x] disorders: depression, ocd but not too serious thankfully, si, ptsd, panic disorder
[x] Reason for joining: I've always been the odd one out. I'm not good with people and events in my life make that worse. I had a hard time coming to terms with being gay and that sparked off a lot of problems. My boyfriend hits me. too often. I just wanted to find other people who knew what it felt like to be in a crowd and still be alone.
[x] Do you self injure and if so, for how long: since I was thirteen - around six years or so
[x] If you do, do you want to stop? Why: I don't want to stop really, but I know its not good, and it makes my boyfriend angry if he finds out I've been doing it.
[x] Weapon of choice: ever traditional - the razorblade. I used to throw myself against the walls but I don't really need anymore bruises anymore.
[x] Area of choice: arms if I can get away with it. otherwise thighs.
[x] Randomness: people seem like real people on here, I'd love to get to know someone who knows I'm not TRYING to be weird.

1 angelhelp me

some ones gonna poke an eye out. [21 Dec 2006|07:40am]

hi everyone. i joined this page cuz u all seem genuine.

im 25yrs old.

im a dj in a strip club.

im borderline, ptsd, depression, adhd, agoraphobic, alcoholic, sociopathic and...... uhm, lactose intollerent. oh and im allergic to caffiene.

--- i dont have much to say and dont know why im posting this.
i think i just feel the need to be involved here. im drawn to this page for some reason.

im sure ill be back soon.
2 angelshelp me

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